Ha, as the months rolls by, I wonder what I was thinking in signing up for the Post-a-week challenge... it seemed so simple from the comfort of Christmas break in India! now I'm lucky to be able to do post-a-month! Ah well. Spring Break-- such a brilliant idea. I was really this close to collapsing at the beginning of this month... THIS close. So I made plans to go visit one of my closest friends, at his home in Texas, for a week, and then he made plans for us to go camping for a couple of days. I also worked like crazy to meet some self-imposed but very important school and work deadlines before leaving for Break (and, to my amazement, met them!), and then I challenged myself not to use the internet for a week. Set email and facebook "away" messages, and just checked out Saturday to Saturday. Best set of decisions ever. I came back to NY feeling cleansed and rejuvenated... and ready to take on all of this stuff again. I've decided that the best kind of holiday is one where you are ready to come back at the end, and i was, but what a wonderful week.
Struggling to write poems lately... or, not really struggling, but only because I'm not really trying either! Somehow, the process of tying up my thesis (still being edited, but largely done, I think!) just really exhausted me creatively. I feel uninspired and unable to write much of anything new, but this time round, I'm not worried about that. I've learned by now that this will pass... that I'll go through this slump for a bit and then suddenly find myself writing and loving the process again. But it's frustrating not to be able to turn that on when I want it on.
End of Spring break also means that I"m so close to graduation! 7 more weeks of class until the end of my MFA program... can hardly believe that! And this time will fly... from April 15, we go into daily rehearsals for tPP show, the show runs April 29- May 3, May 10 is last day of school so that week will get eaten up, Mom will probably be here for graduation between the 10th and the 24th of May (I graduate of 2oth), then I want to go back for the SUA alumni reunion (and try to organize some kind of memorial for Masako, which would really be y main reason for going)... Back early June, start packing, get out of NY late June/ early July! That's really so little time, or really no time at all.
I'm ready to move on, I think. At dinner the other day, Sujay suddenly asked me, "So, why are you leaving again?" and the question made me laugh. To my surprise, though, I almost teared up when I told him "I'm done. I feel done here." But it's true, I do feel done here, yet I mean that in the best of ways. I feel like I've learned what I most needed to learn in New York, grown in the ways I most needed to grow... and, finally, also that I've created beautiful, powerful relationships here. I can't entirely put that into past tense just yet... still learning so much, especially at the Possibility Project, and still deepening so many relationships... but two more months feels exactly right, and then I'm ready to close this circle and draw another, larger one around it.
What's the next step? I'm not sure yet. I submitted a random job-in-exciting-foreign-land application recently (I'm afraid I'll jinx it by saying more! :P), waiting to hear back. If that works out, then I get one more wonderful adventure before attempting to settle down and build a career in Delhi (until wanderlust hits again? Perhaps!). Otherwise it's straight to Delhi end June/ early July. After that, we'll see. I have a long list of things I want to do this year, but I don't know exactly how or where. That's both, exciting and a little nerve-wracking. But it will work out.
That's my fill-in-the-blank entry. Now another entry in response to yesterday's Post-a-day question... just because I have wanted to tell that story for a while!